My love.

So I started to like you 6 months ago, or 7 or even more? I don’t even know anymore. But what I do know is that I’ve loved you for who you were. We thought we’d stop talking because I switched school, and honnestly, I was thinking it to. I thought it would be so much easier if we didn’t talk because then I wouldn’t be reminded of my feelings for you. But no. We kept on talking, and talking, and talking. We don’t see eachother often, no, but we still talk, and that’s one of the reasons that I love you. You listen to me, you care, or atleast pretend, and you make me feel a little bit better. I might not be the only girl you talk to, and I’m not a special friend we’re just ‘good friends’ for you. But yeah, for you. You don’t fucking know what’s going on inside my head, how much I still hide for you because 1. I’d ruin our friendship 2. I’d lose you 3. I just can’t tell it. I love you, oh so much, but I don’t want to ruin our friendship. Never. That’s too precious for me. And everyone might know I’m in love, and everyone might think things. I know the truth, I know you don’t love me back, but that doesn’t stop me from loving you. I try to take distance, but if you suddenly stay up ‘til 2A.M. to talk to me, I begin to start thinking, and it’s that thinking that makes me go so mad. That makes me go back to the start, where I did all those stupid things. You know I never stopped self harming, you’re one of the only ones and I trust you so much. Maybe a bit too much sometimes because you have told things to others that I thought you wouldn’t. But one thing is sure, if you tell those things about my selfharm, depression, personal state, mental state. I won’t be happy. I’d be seriously mad at you and won’t want to talk to you. But we both know I’m not that strong so I’ll keep on talking to you, but with a bad feeling. Because then you’ll totally lose that trust I have in you. 

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