Does anyone else ever had the feeling that no matter what they do, it’s not good enough ? That you need to do more , and more, and more. Until you can’t anymore and you just collapse? I’ve been feeling like this for a while now, and it’s seriously killing me.
I feel like I’m balancing on the edge, that if I take one wrong step, I’ll fall and it’ll be the end. The fact that my sister keeps remending me that my family secretly hates me, doesn’t help also. I’ve been thinking about suicide way too often the last days. I don’t know how to get out of it anymore, out of this circle down. But well, at least, I’m not doing self harm, maybe that’s just the only good thing. I’m scared of living, but I don’t want to die.
love yourself
love yourself 
“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh
Hi. I ‘liked’ this because I was moved by your words and wanted to offer some support. Sisters, brothers, families and friends can be horrible sometimes but it passes. I hated my brother when I was young and he hated me. Now I don’t hate anyone, no matter how vile they are. Life has too much to offer to waste it hating and living in fear and dread. There is so much waiting for you in the years ahead. Love, adventure, travel, a world of wonderful things. It’s good you are able to express yourself but it seems like you need to ask someone you can trust to help you. Whoever it is, family member, doctor , priest, or other professional, ask for help. What you are struggling with is something you will need help to overcome but you will overcome it. It will pass and when it does you will embrace the world and love life like never before. Difficult to imagine now but with help you’ll get there. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
The greatest thing in life is to love and be loved and you will come to know this. I don’t want to get too religious on you but there is a great prayer called the Serenity Prayer:
“God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.”
I, like everyone else, fail at things all the time and the world is full of people who are taller, better looking, cleverer, richer, stronger. I still find it stange after all these years that some people love me and some people don’t like me and I can’t do much about their choices other than to be who I am and try to be the best I can. I will continue to be me. Continue to be you and lots of people will love you for it.